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Begging you to understand - just when the catepillar thought the world was over...he became a butterfly

Nov. 2nd, 2009 08:50 pm Begging you to understand

I am not going to walk away. I do not need you to be something you can't be right now. I just need you to be you. I need you to need me. Do you not remember when I said that it hurt so badly that I couldn't be a support for Chris, my other friends? Do you not realize that for me to be able to help you gives me a sense of worth? I don't need you to be strong for me right now. Honest I don't. I need you to just focus on Eric, to realize that you are not a complete failure. If you were a failure I would not be alive today. Bottom line. I want to just shake you and make you see that what is making me so miserable right now is this feeling of distance, feeling like emotionally you are more distant then even physically. Let me help you. I want to be a part of your life. Stop pushing me away. You said you aren't but it's all I feel. I didn't contact you today because I wanted to give you distance. I just want to say I love you over and over to you and yet I don't think you want me to. You need to see that you are deserving of my friendship and love, deserving of loving me and caring about me. Your my boyfriend silly, and I want to hear your smile again, hear some sort of joy, happiness, emotion in your voice and I won't quit until I do. This stubborn girlfriend of yours isn't going anywhere :) I love you.

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