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i feel like i am going to throw up...i had an intense want for… - just when the catepillar thought the world was over...he became a butterfly

Oct. 23rd, 2007 12:37 am

i feel like i am going to throw up...i had an intense want for someone to shoot me in the back on my way home from dance tonight...i cant handle life...i really cant...you dont understand...no one can...i dont want to fucking hate everything about my life...but i do...i do...i dont want to live...i hate this feeling...i want to not feel like this anymore...why doesnt it just stay away?...why can this feeling not leave me forever and stop reoccuring so often...i hate it...but i hate myself more...i hate myself...i hate myself...i hate myself...i cant handle stress...i cant handle life...save me...please save me

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From:thornthornesen
Date:October 26th, 2007 05:06 am (UTC)
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Just breathe. Life is throwing you a curve ball when you aren't even holding a bat. No one knows exactly what you are going through but that doesn't not mean you are alone. Change a few words in your post and you have a post that I just haven't written yet. Except I don't want death for myself, I want to lash out not in. I empathize. All I can say is all I am doing for myself. Just breathe and take everything in baby steps. Address what you can when you can and don't rush anything. Time is not a luxury, we do not have an infinite amount of time but when time needs to be taken for ourselves what other choice is as good as taking that time. Relax and focus on yourself for a while. Beth and I send our love.